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Business

If you really want to help your adult kids and grandkids, give them money while you’re still alive

Katherine Langford
Katherine Langford
Katherine Langford
Editor-in-Chief · Edina, MN

Katherine oversees editorial operations across all six brands. Before joining The Meridan Group, she spent 14 years at the Minneapolis Star Tribune, where she led the metro desk through its digital transformation. She holds a Master's in Journalism from Northwestern's Medill School.

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Editor-in-Chief · Saturday, October 31, 2026 at 1:00 PM · 6 min read
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A family gathering in NYC, showcasing the importance of financial support among generations.

As the sun began to set over the bustling streets of New York City, a group of friends gathered on a rooftop terrace, sharing laughter and stories. Among them was Martha, a retired teacher, who had recently made a significant decision: she started providing financial support to her adult children and grandchildren. Her choice, however, was not without careful consideration. Like many parents and grandparents, Martha grappled with the balance between helping her family and ensuring her own financial security. This dilemma is increasingly common among older adults today.

What Happened

In recent years, the concept of “giving while living” has gained traction as families seek to support their adult children and grandchildren during their most critical financial moments. According to a report by the AARP, nearly 60% of parents with adult children have provided them with financial assistance, whether for housing, education, or unexpected expenses. This trend reflects a growing recognition that millennials and Gen Z face unique economic challenges, including student debt and a competitive job market.

For Martha, this meant re-evaluating her retirement savings and determining how much she could afford to give without jeopardizing her own future. "I want to help my kids, but I also need to be sure I can take care of myself," she shared. As she navigated this new terrain, Martha consulted with a financial advisor to create a sustainable plan for her contributions.

Understanding the Risks

While the desire to assist family members is commendable, experts caution against hasty decisions. According to a study by the National Association of State Retirement Administrators, many retirees who provide financial support to their children risk depleting their savings. The challenge lies in finding the right balance between generosity and self-preservation.

Financial planners recommend a structured approach to “giving while living.” This includes assessing one’s own financial health, determining a budget for gifts, and considering the long-term implications of such decisions. For those like Martha, it is essential to understand how these contributions might affect retirement funds, Social Security benefits, and tax implications.

Community Perspectives

The conversation surrounding financial support for adult children is not just personal; it resonates deeply within communities. Many families are coming together to discuss how best to navigate these waters. Local community centers and financial workshops are increasingly offering resources to educate families about the complexities of intergenerational financial planning.

In New York City, organizations such as the NYC Department of Aging have initiated programs aimed at helping older adults understand their financial options. These workshops not only provide practical advice but also foster discussions about family dynamics and the emotional aspects of giving. For instance, the department recently hosted a panel featuring financial experts and family therapists, who spoke about the psychological impact of financial support on familial relationships.

Moreover, community leaders emphasize the importance of creating a culture of open dialogue about finances. Local resident and community advocate, Linda, noted, “We often shy away from discussing money, but the more we talk about it, the more equipped we are to support each other.” This sentiment is echoed in various neighborhoods where informal gatherings have sprung up, allowing families to share their experiences and strategies.

Real-Life Impact

The impact of financial assistance extends beyond mere dollars and cents. Many families report that such support strengthens their bonds and fosters a sense of security. For instance, when Martha helped her daughter with a down payment on a new home, it not only eased her daughter’s financial burden but also allowed the family to gather for celebrations in their new space.

“It felt like a gift not just of money, but of family,” Martha reflected. This sentiment is echoed by many who find that financial support can lead to deeper connections and shared experiences, reinforcing the values of commitment and togetherness. In fact, Martha’s family now hosts regular Sunday dinners in their daughter’s new home, creating an environment where they can share not just meals but also their aspirations and challenges.

Additionally, the emotional benefits of financial support can be profound. For many, it alleviates stress and anxiety associated with financial instability, allowing them to focus on personal and professional growth. A report from the American Psychological Association highlights that financial stress can significantly impact mental health, making the act of giving not only a financial decision but also a mental health strategy.

Resources for Families

For families interested in exploring the “giving while living” approach, numerous resources are available. Financial advisors can offer tailored strategies that align with individual goals and circumstances. Additionally, organizations like the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau provide guides on managing family finances.

Community workshops, often hosted by local nonprofits, can also provide valuable insights into the nuances of financial gifting. The Nolo website offers a wealth of information on estate planning and tax implications associated with financial gifts. Furthermore, local libraries frequently host free financial literacy seminars, providing an accessible platform for families to learn about budgeting, saving, and investing.

Looking Ahead

As the trend of “giving while living” continues to evolve, families are encouraged to engage in open conversations about financial support. Understanding the balance between generosity and self-care is crucial in ensuring that both the giver and receiver thrive. Martha’s journey serves as an example of how thoughtful planning can lead to fulfilling family relationships while safeguarding one’s financial future.

Ultimately, the act of giving can embody the spirit of commitment and love that families strive to uphold. As more individuals like Martha step forward to support their loved ones, it is imperative to approach these decisions with care, ensuring a legacy that reflects both generosity and prudence. The future of intergenerational financial support may very well hinge on the conversations we start today, shaping the financial landscapes of families for generations to come.

The Broader Implications of Financial Support

The trend of financial support from older generations to younger ones is not just a family affair; it has broader implications for the economy and society. As families provide assistance, they help stimulate local economies. For example, when Martha’s daughter was able to purchase a home, it not only benefited her family but also contributed to the housing market, creating jobs in construction, real estate, and various service industries. This ripple effect demonstrates how individual actions can have collective benefits.

Moreover, as more families engage in “giving while living,” there is potential for a shift in societal norms regarding financial independence and responsibility. Younger generations who receive support may feel empowered to take risks, such as starting businesses or pursuing education, knowing they have a safety net. This could lead to a more innovative workforce, ultimately benefiting the economy at large.

What Happens Next?

As we look to the future, it is essential for families to remain proactive in their financial discussions. Experts suggest that families establish regular check-ins to assess financial health and make adjustments as needed. This could involve revisiting budgets, discussing changes in income or expenses, and reassessing the level of support being provided. By maintaining open lines of communication, families can adapt to changing circumstances and ensure that their financial strategies remain effective.

Furthermore, as the landscape of financial support evolves, policymakers may need to consider the implications of this trend. Discussions around tax policies, retirement planning, and social safety nets must take into account the realities that families face today. By understanding the dynamics of intergenerational financial support, lawmakers can create policies that better support families in their efforts to provide assistance without compromising their own financial stability.

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